Okay so I am new at this so please be patient with me and understanding. I am starting this blog to keep track of my weight lose and the long hard journey that I will be going on as a result.

Like many people in my situation I have started and restarted weight lose programs only to fail everytime. This time, however, I have a good feeling about it. I joined a gym and have the encouragement of my family and friends. Not only that but I have the determination this time that I didn't have in the past. I couldn't really tell you when this all changed for me just that it did. It may have been when I ended up with pnemonia and missed a month of work. It may have even been before that, I really don't know. I do know that I have been sick for awhile and maybe the pnemonia was the icing on the cake. I know that I have missed a lot out of my sons life because of my weight. It takes me back to my mom and how she never would do much with us or go to any of my plays in school. You see my mom is big too and she was always embarressed of it. She said she couldn't set in the seats because they were to small. I have to be honest and admit that I didn't really believe her until I got that big. I can still fit in the seats of the theaters and restraunts (barely). Now I feel closer to my mom because I understand where she is coming from. I am also watching helplessly as her and my dad are going through all these health issues and it makes me sad. That maybe the reason I decided to go on this journey because I don't want my son to feel that way. I know I don't want to be in that situation either. My mom is encouraging too because she doesn't want me to go through that. I love you mom.

I started my weight lose journey at 345 pounds and that is the biggest I have ever been. I haven't been under 300 pounds since before I was pregnant with my son, who is now eight. I have already lost twelve pounds which is really good for me. I lost eight of that before I joined a gym and the rest as a result of the gym. The gym has been a life saver for me and I think my friend Robert for finally convincing me to go. I signed up at the gym on April 16, 2010 and the guy, Scott, signing me up was very encouraging. At first we just guessed that I had 140 pounds to lose and he looked at me and said I was one of the biggest weigh lose goals they had. He even told me that I would end up in their comercial (take a moment and laugh, I did). Scott also told me that I would get two free sessions with a personal trainer (whoohoo). This news was exciting for me because I would finally have someone show me what I really needed to do to head down the right path. The next day after work I met with Corey, my personal trainer, and started on a journey that I am sure is going to change me forever. We sat in his office and talked for a long time and he asked about my goals. All I could say was I just wanted to be healthy and enjoy doing things with my son. He tested my body fat and figured I could stand to lose about 168 pounds (yikes)! Afterwards he took me out on the floor and worked me out for about 15 minutes. Not a lot but I was feeling it and could barely walk at the end of it. I did the treadmill and then some weight training. Next we went back into the office and he tried to talk me into buying his services. I told him I would love to but as a single mom working for Walmart I didn't have that kind of money. Personal trainers are expensive!!! Just to meet with him one day a week for a month is $165 up front. He said they had one plan that was much cheaper. He meets with you three times a month for $100. That's all good but I just don't have it I am lucky to afford the gym. So as of right now I am on my own. Oh I get another free sessions but I would much rather wait until I plateau and then meet with him to find out what to do next.

So here I am, almost two weeks into my gym membership and feeling every muscle in my body (ouch). Actually it's not as bad as all that, I was very sore when I first started couldn't even bend but now I am working out those pains. I am feeling good and everyone says I am looking good. Just the other day a manager came up to me and said "Looking good sister!" I had to laugh. But you know what? Other than my body feeling tired and wanting to protest I do feel good and I have even noticed a difference in how my clothes fit. I haven't measured myself because I can't get a stupid tape measure around me but I do think I am losing inches. I say this because I have only lost 12 pounds but people can tell and are making coments. I wouldn't think 12 pounds would be enough to notice so it must be inches.

To sum it all up I am on the hardest journey of my life but I know that I can do. I also know that if I can do this then I can do anything. I am excited about this new change in me and can't wait to improve it some more.