Well I am happy to report that as of Wednesday June 23, 2010 I have lost 19 pounds. To be honest I didn't think I would considering I wasn't able to go to the gym for about three weeks but I did it and I am excited. I am also happy to report that I can finally use the wii fit board so now it's time for some fun!!!!

My mom let me borrower a devotional book she bought called "Fit for her King" and it is very interesting. It's a 30 day devotional diet plan that makes a lot of sense to me. It talks about how our bodies are God's temple and we should treat it as such. It says how eating junk and not being healthy is dishonoring God since we are ruining his temple (our bodies). It list several things you should do to get back on track and get your bodies in shape for God.
1) We should put God first and remember we are losing weight for him not ourselves.
2) Cut out all white sugar. For me this one wasn't to hard because I'm not a sweet person except maybe once a month.
3) Cut out all white flour. Here's an interesting fact that I learned through this study. Did you know that the chemical (yes I said chemical) they use to bleach (yes bleach) the wheat used for flour is similar to chlorox (yes that would be chlorox bleach)? How gross is that? Think that's bad imagine what other crap we're putting into our bodies (God's Temple).
4) Cut out all fake foods. Just because it says low-fat or no-fat doesn't make it so.
5) No caffeine!!! Okay this one is really hard for me especially since I have to have my Diet Dr. Pepper. I made it a 1 1/2 days before I had such a headache that I couldn't even see straight! I broke and had a glass of pop and shortly after started feeling better. Maybe if I can cut back to one a day that will help. Slowly wean myself off of it.
6) No white potatoes, white rice, or corn. Okay I love mashed potatoes and corn but I don't eat them very often anyway so this one won't be so hard.
7) Don't eat after 7p.m. This one will be hard for me to do because of my work hours. Many times I am not able to eat dinner until really late and it's not by choice.

Something that woke me up today was how I always turn to food for comfort. Of course I know a lot of us do that but why? Why do we do that when God is right there to comfort us anytime we need it. I am so guilty of this it's not even funny. I know God is there for me but yet I still turn to food. As a matter of fact I did that very thing today. I was upset with a co-worker for not pulling her weight and a friend told me I was being over sensitive. This really upset me and the next thing I know I am at a Chinease restraunt pigging out on the buffet and drinking my Diet Dr. Pepper. I felt so guilty afterwards because I knew I did wrong and I just wanted to cry. This brought me to not wanting to eat at all, of course I'm not that hungry but I shouldn't skip meals.

To wrap it up I am excited about the weight loss and the fact that I can workout on the wii fit again. I am also learning that I'm not perfect and will make mistakes. I can try this new diet and continue my devotions but I will have off days. God understands that and he is there with open arms when I need Him. It's going to be a slow hard road but I will get there someday.

Wednesday I attempted a turbo kickboxing class...yeah that didn't work out so well. I tried very hard to keep up but it was hard, just as I would get the hang of one move she was on to another. I finally gave up toward the end when they did ab work because 1) I couldn't see the instructor to know what to do and 2) I had to much blubber in front of me to do set ups or anything else. My other problem was with the classroom itself. It had floor to ceiling mirrors all the way across the front of it, so you had to look at yourself. I knew I was big but when I saw myself under those bright lights I wanted to bawl. I couldn't believe what I had let myself become and I just wanted to bawl!!!! I never realized until then how big I had let myself get. Maybe I was in denial I really don't know but I do know I woke up that day.

I told myself that I wasn't going to weigh myself after only going to the gym twice in two weeks but Monday I let the temptation of the scale get to me. I was really suprised by what I saw because I didn't lose (was to be expected) but I didn't gain either (wasn't expected). That's why it made today so much harder. For whatever reason I decided to weigh myself again and according to the scale I gained three pounds. I was expecting much but this I definitely wasn't expecting. I have worked so hard only to get knocked down. Why have I put on this weigh? Is it muscle tissue? Water gain? Or am I not working as hard as I thought? I know the scale is just a number and I shouldn't be concerned with it, but it is still disheartening.

I have decided that after this latest disappointment I need to work harder however I will have to do it without the aid of my gym. I am having car problems and had to park it for awhile, as a result I have no way to get to the gym. I would like to think I can do the work at home but if that was the case then I never would have gotten to where I am today. I am going to try and do some cardio work and pray that I can make it but we will see.

I haven't weighed myself in awhile but then again I have only been to the gym twice in the last two weeks. The first week was the hardest because mother nature was calling and I just didn't feel like fighting that and the gym. This last week my car broke down and then my washer. Hopefully nothing will happen and I can get to the gym this week. I know I will be soar but that's the price I have to pay. I know I have probably put on some weight since then but there will be ups and downs in this battle.

One positive thing about all of this is the fact that people are starting to notice. I couldn't even begin to count the people who have complimented me. My clothes are fitting me different too. Also my friend Laura has joined the gym with me so I have a workout partner from time to time.

This blog is short but only because my weight lose journey has come to a hault. I can't wait to get back in the gym and get back on track! I am excited and looking forward to a new life. I promise to have more next time I blog.

Okay so I am new at this so please be patient with me and understanding. I am starting this blog to keep track of my weight lose and the long hard journey that I will be going on as a result.

Like many people in my situation I have started and restarted weight lose programs only to fail everytime. This time, however, I have a good feeling about it. I joined a gym and have the encouragement of my family and friends. Not only that but I have the determination this time that I didn't have in the past. I couldn't really tell you when this all changed for me just that it did. It may have been when I ended up with pnemonia and missed a month of work. It may have even been before that, I really don't know. I do know that I have been sick for awhile and maybe the pnemonia was the icing on the cake. I know that I have missed a lot out of my sons life because of my weight. It takes me back to my mom and how she never would do much with us or go to any of my plays in school. You see my mom is big too and she was always embarressed of it. She said she couldn't set in the seats because they were to small. I have to be honest and admit that I didn't really believe her until I got that big. I can still fit in the seats of the theaters and restraunts (barely). Now I feel closer to my mom because I understand where she is coming from. I am also watching helplessly as her and my dad are going through all these health issues and it makes me sad. That maybe the reason I decided to go on this journey because I don't want my son to feel that way. I know I don't want to be in that situation either. My mom is encouraging too because she doesn't want me to go through that. I love you mom.

I started my weight lose journey at 345 pounds and that is the biggest I have ever been. I haven't been under 300 pounds since before I was pregnant with my son, who is now eight. I have already lost twelve pounds which is really good for me. I lost eight of that before I joined a gym and the rest as a result of the gym. The gym has been a life saver for me and I think my friend Robert for finally convincing me to go. I signed up at the gym on April 16, 2010 and the guy, Scott, signing me up was very encouraging. At first we just guessed that I had 140 pounds to lose and he looked at me and said I was one of the biggest weigh lose goals they had. He even told me that I would end up in their comercial (take a moment and laugh, I did). Scott also told me that I would get two free sessions with a personal trainer (whoohoo). This news was exciting for me because I would finally have someone show me what I really needed to do to head down the right path. The next day after work I met with Corey, my personal trainer, and started on a journey that I am sure is going to change me forever. We sat in his office and talked for a long time and he asked about my goals. All I could say was I just wanted to be healthy and enjoy doing things with my son. He tested my body fat and figured I could stand to lose about 168 pounds (yikes)! Afterwards he took me out on the floor and worked me out for about 15 minutes. Not a lot but I was feeling it and could barely walk at the end of it. I did the treadmill and then some weight training. Next we went back into the office and he tried to talk me into buying his services. I told him I would love to but as a single mom working for Walmart I didn't have that kind of money. Personal trainers are expensive!!! Just to meet with him one day a week for a month is $165 up front. He said they had one plan that was much cheaper. He meets with you three times a month for $100. That's all good but I just don't have it I am lucky to afford the gym. So as of right now I am on my own. Oh I get another free sessions but I would much rather wait until I plateau and then meet with him to find out what to do next.

So here I am, almost two weeks into my gym membership and feeling every muscle in my body (ouch). Actually it's not as bad as all that, I was very sore when I first started couldn't even bend but now I am working out those pains. I am feeling good and everyone says I am looking good. Just the other day a manager came up to me and said "Looking good sister!" I had to laugh. But you know what? Other than my body feeling tired and wanting to protest I do feel good and I have even noticed a difference in how my clothes fit. I haven't measured myself because I can't get a stupid tape measure around me but I do think I am losing inches. I say this because I have only lost 12 pounds but people can tell and are making coments. I wouldn't think 12 pounds would be enough to notice so it must be inches.

To sum it all up I am on the hardest journey of my life but I know that I can do. I also know that if I can do this then I can do anything. I am excited about this new change in me and can't wait to improve it some more.