Wednesday I attempted a turbo kickboxing class...yeah that didn't work out so well. I tried very hard to keep up but it was hard, just as I would get the hang of one move she was on to another. I finally gave up toward the end when they did ab work because 1) I couldn't see the instructor to know what to do and 2) I had to much blubber in front of me to do set ups or anything else. My other problem was with the classroom itself. It had floor to ceiling mirrors all the way across the front of it, so you had to look at yourself. I knew I was big but when I saw myself under those bright lights I wanted to bawl. I couldn't believe what I had let myself become and I just wanted to bawl!!!! I never realized until then how big I had let myself get. Maybe I was in denial I really don't know but I do know I woke up that day.

I told myself that I wasn't going to weigh myself after only going to the gym twice in two weeks but Monday I let the temptation of the scale get to me. I was really suprised by what I saw because I didn't lose (was to be expected) but I didn't gain either (wasn't expected). That's why it made today so much harder. For whatever reason I decided to weigh myself again and according to the scale I gained three pounds. I was expecting much but this I definitely wasn't expecting. I have worked so hard only to get knocked down. Why have I put on this weigh? Is it muscle tissue? Water gain? Or am I not working as hard as I thought? I know the scale is just a number and I shouldn't be concerned with it, but it is still disheartening.

I have decided that after this latest disappointment I need to work harder however I will have to do it without the aid of my gym. I am having car problems and had to park it for awhile, as a result I have no way to get to the gym. I would like to think I can do the work at home but if that was the case then I never would have gotten to where I am today. I am going to try and do some cardio work and pray that I can make it but we will see.

I haven't weighed myself in awhile but then again I have only been to the gym twice in the last two weeks. The first week was the hardest because mother nature was calling and I just didn't feel like fighting that and the gym. This last week my car broke down and then my washer. Hopefully nothing will happen and I can get to the gym this week. I know I will be soar but that's the price I have to pay. I know I have probably put on some weight since then but there will be ups and downs in this battle.

One positive thing about all of this is the fact that people are starting to notice. I couldn't even begin to count the people who have complimented me. My clothes are fitting me different too. Also my friend Laura has joined the gym with me so I have a workout partner from time to time.

This blog is short but only because my weight lose journey has come to a hault. I can't wait to get back in the gym and get back on track! I am excited and looking forward to a new life. I promise to have more next time I blog.